What It’s Like To Get a “Hands On” Education

My program is nothing like your program (unless, of course, you’re becoming a Midwife too). Sure, we do all the things you’ve done in school- group projects, discussion board posts, power point presentations, and listen to hours of dry lecture. The main distinction between you and I is that when I go to school, I take my pants off and my classmates look inside my vagina. As I’m sure you can imagine, I don’t really know how to respond when people ask, “How is school?”. You see, this kind of program fosters a kind of intimacy I’ve never felt for a group of people before. There is no simple answer to that question.

Prior to becoming a member of Bastyr’s 2013 class of Midwives, I was a a lowly community college student with a few years of Doula and Childbirth Educator experience under my belt. My relationship with my classmates ranged from polite and friendly to distant and disdainful. My classmates made no impact on my life. My classmates were not people I admired, loved, or wanted to commune with.

When I began the Midwifery program 6 weeks ago, I entered into it cautiously. I was afraid I’d make enemies with what I perceived to be a moderate, complacent student body at Bastyr University. Sure, I subscribe to all the same ideologies as the majority of students at our “natural” medical school, but I am far from moderate and complacent with these ideas- I am an outspoken (loudmouthed?), radically thinking student midwife entering into midwifery from a place of feminism and activism. I am not there to munch on Kale and fuss with homeopathy. I’m there to change the damn world.

Instead of a room full of enemies, I found a room full of peers. I found my village. I found my people. I found a program that was probably the closest anyone can come to the Our Bodies, Ourselves feminism of the 1970’s.

Why doesn't this happen anymore?

After our first week together, I had fallen deeply in love with all of these women. How the hell did that happen in a week?

In short, our program is designed to bond us together. Our professors put us though emotionally revealing team building exercises and required us to practice health assessment on one another. In both team building and in health assessment, we started out slowly, brief introduction and taking one another’s pulse. But, by week four, we were crying in each other’s arms as we worked though our emotional baggage and gently guiding one another though inserting a speculum inside our bodies.

I have to admit, I do take particular pleasure in revealing to outsiders that we practice pelvic exams on one another. I enjoy the way it scandalizes the listener, challenges their concept of “education”. With big, wide eyes, the listener exclaims, “But...but...WHY?”. The short answer to “why” probably has something to do with the cost associated with hiring models for us to work on, but I have a feeling our faculty understand the value transcends simply saving a few bucks.

 

Lisa and Helen, rooting around for my cervix

The value in being able to learn these difficult skills on one another is massive. Not only does it bond us together, but for the receiver of the exam, it fosters empathy for the process. After having 5 pelvic exams in one week, I can say with total certainty that I understand the broad range of feelings associated with receiving the exam, from painful to pleasant to unsuccessful. This will only enhance how I touch women as a Midwife and my how I allow practitioners to touch my body when I am examined in the future. For those of us performing the exam on our classmate, we get the best kind of feedback available- an honest critique from someone who is learning the same skills. A model would have no idea if I forgot to check the Bartholin glands during my examination.

Yeah, my program is not like your program. It’s life changing, mind altering, and beyond what most people can understand. It’s where I belong.